Commercailism Kakuzu the Advertizer
by Rockcrab
Summary: Rated T, but may be lower. Kakuzu does commercials for... you guessed it, money. But who is watching tv when the commercial plays? Let's just say Itachi on camera and tv... not a good idea. The store owner is named Ms. Rutchlander, it cut her name out.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I own nothing of Naruto at all. Or spongebob.

Author's note- I did this one all by myself. If someone else already did this I didn't see it so I'm sorry ok?

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It begins-

Kakuzu is bored and has nothing to do. (He spent the last two hours just tyeing his shoe... sorry. Force of habit) He decides he wants more money. He has heard many times that if you make commercials you can get big money... millions! So with dollar signs in his eyes he drifts to a cookie factory and decides this will be his first target... uh... customer.

"I'm a professional commercial maker and I want to make a commercial for chocolate chip cookie dough of yours! It is only a million dollars!" says Kakuzu.

"I don't have that much money..." says the owner of basically the lamest businesses around, but they have one store for everything.

"Then I guess I can give this to you for -moan- half price." says Kakuzu unhappily.

"Great! You're hired!" says the old lady.

**----------------------------------------------Now it begins the commercial business---------------------------------------------------------------**

"Deidara! Itachi! Tobi! We have a commercial to shoot!" says Kakuzu with enthusiasm.

"Why am I helping." says Itachi.

"You can be the camera person." says Kakuzu.

"Fine." says Itachi.

"Cookie commercial take one!" yells Kakuzu.

----

"Tobi, Would you like to buy some of our famous cookies?" asks Deidara in his cheesiest voice.

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will take twelve boxes! Will Deidara-sempai eat them with me?" asks Tobi.

"No." says Deidara.

"WHAAAA!!!!! TOBI SAD! TOBI HATE COOKIE!!!!!"

----

"Cut!" yells Kakuzu, "Tobi? You are supposed to like the cookies!"

"But Deidara wouldn't eat the cookies with Tobi!"

"No one cares Tobi!" yells Kakuzu, "Cookie commercial take two!"

----

"Tobi, Would you like to buy some of our-" Deidara starts to say but is interrupted.

"Cookies. Give me them or I will kill you." says Gaara threateningly.

----

"CUT!" yells Kakuzu angrily, "Gaara, go away..."

"Give me the cookies." says Gaara, "Then I will leave."

"We need the cookies teme! We are making a commercial and you are in the way." says Kakuzu.

"Give me the cookies or I will hurt Hidan." says Gaara.

"Like I care. He won't die." says Kakuzu not really caring.

"How did I get dragged into this?" asks Hidan.

"Sand Coffin."

"Ow! You exploded my... everything!" yells Hidan pulling himself together.

"He may not die, but you can." says Gaara.

"Just give him the damn cookies Kakuzu!" yells Deidara.

"Fine take them and go." says Kakuzu dejectedly.

"Finally, but now I don't want them." says Gaara as he leaves.

"That was pointless." says Itachi.

"Tobi thought Itachi would never talk!" says Tobi happily.

"..." says Itachi ignoring the comment.

"Cookie commercial take THREE." yells Kakuzu.

----

"Tobi, would you like to buy some of our favorite cookies?" asks Deidara without excitement. He was too tired for that.

"Tobi will buy 10 boxes because these cookies are the best!" says Tobi enthusiastically.

"Ok." says Deidara taking the money and giving him the cookies.

"YAY! COOKIES!" yells Tobi running around in circles eating the cookies, "Wow! Tobi thinks these really are good cookies!" Tobi turns the camera to face Itachi.

"..." Itachi doesn't say anything into the camera. Kakuzu moves his hands in a gesture that says, 'say something.'

"Buy the stupid cookies so I can leave. Got it?" says Itachi activating his Sharringan. The camera turns back to Tobi and Deidara who wave.

----

"...and cut!" says Kakuzu, "Good enough. Anyways. If we have to buy anymore film, we will lose money." Kakuzu walks over to you make the commercial?" she asks hopefully.

" Here." Kakuzu says handing her the video and taking the money.

----

The video plays on air the very next day, and guess who is watching it...

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Author's note- Haha! It ended on a cliff hanger! I am not going to say who it is, but I will give a very strong hint right now.

The guy who watches the commercial sees Itachi and stands up very quickly. He takes down the address. He'll be there when he is more powerful.

Did you get the hint? Do you know who it is?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto.

Author's note- sorry about the slow update.

* * *

The results on the store owned by a Mrs.Rutchlander

* * *

"I wonder if Ms... Ms... who ever it was got customers from the commercail..." says Kakuzu to himself.

_Ring, Ring!_

"TOBI WILL GET THE PHONE!" yells Tobi running towards the phone. Pein picks up the phone.

"Hello." says Pein.

* * *

**Phone Conversation**

_This is off the phone conversation. Not known who says it because you are listening to the phone._

* * *

"Hi. Is this... uh... Mr.Kakuzu?" asks a voice.

"No, who is this?" asks Pein.

_"Tobi says HI!"_

"I am Mrs. Rutchlander." says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"I'll ask him if he knows you." says Pein.

_"SAY TOBI SAYS HI!"_

"_Kakuzu! Do you know a Mrs. Rutchlander?"_

_"Yes, give me the phone."_

_"Is she your girlfriend?"_

_"NO! __She's a Mrs. that means she's married."_

_"Kakuzu how could you do that to a Mrs.!"_

_"I'm not!"_

_"Fine."_

_"Can I have the phone?"_

_"Fine."_

"Hello, this is Kakuzu." says Kakuzu.

_"Say Tobi says hi!"_

_"Shush Tobi, un."_

"Hi, you are the nice man that made that commercial for me!" says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Uh... sure." says Kakuzu thinking, 'ummm... nice man?'

"Oh, well thanks to you my business has increased by 100 percent!" says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Really?" asks Kakuzu.

"Yeah! I actually had three customers yesterday!" says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Who were they?" asks Kakuzu.

"Uh... a Sasuke Uchiha... an Orochimaru... and a Kabuto. Oh, actually there was one more... his name was Gaara." says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Did they buy anything?" asks Kakuzu.

_"Say Tobi says HI!"_

"Yeah, cookies!" says Mrs. Rutchlander.

_"Come on! Say Tobi says hi!"_

_"Tobi shut up, un!"_

_"But Tobi's a good boy!"_

"Oh, well that was obvious." says Kakuzu.

_"SAY. TOBI. SAYS. HI!"_

_"TOBI! PUT THE CHAINSAW DOWN, UN!"_

_"Tobi, shut the -**censored-** up!"_

_"SAY TOBI SAYS HI!"_

"So... could you make me another commercial?" asks Mrs. Rutchlander.

_"TOBI WANTS TO SAY HI!"_

_"I'm on the phone so be quiet!"_

_"But Tobi wants to say hi!"_

_"Just let him Kakuzu, un."_

_"Fine. Here Tobi."_

"Tobi says Hi!" says Tobi happily.

"Oh... hi..." says Mrs. Rutchlander.

_"Can I have the phone back now Tobi? Hey! Where are you going! Itachi, get Tobi to give the phone back!"_

"So how are you?" asks Tobi.

"Uh... I'm fine... can I talk to Kakuzu again please?" asks Mrs. Rutchlander very confused.

_"Fine. Here Itachi..."_

_"Thank You Itachi! I needed that phone."_

"As you were saying?" says Kakuzu.

"I need you to make another commecial." says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Ok... Can you do it full price this time?" asks Kakuzu hopefully.

"Yeah." says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"What am I advertizing this time?" asks Kakuzu.

_"Tell her Tobi says Bye!"_

_"Not again, un."_

_"I thought I told you to shut the **-censored-** up!"_

"Our plant seed." says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Ok, I can do that." says Kakuzu.

_"Tell her Tobi says BYE!"_

_"FINE!"_

"Tobi says Bye, by the way." says Kakuzu.

"Ok... is your family alright?" asks Mrs. Rutchlander.

"F... fam... family?" asks Kakuzu almost throughing up.

"Yeah... are they all... stable?" asks Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Uh... yeah... except Tobi..." says Kakuzu.

_"Hey! Tobi isn't deaf. Itachi's blind, but Tobi's not deaf!"_

_"I am not blind."_

_"Then stop talking to Deidara when you are trying to talk to Tobi!"_

_"Maybe I meant to talk to Deidara."_

_"What, un?"_

"So when can you have the commercail ready?" asks Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Ummm... soon. On plant seed right?" asks Kakuzu.

"Yup. Bye." says Mrs. Rutchlander.

"Bye." says Kakuzu.

* * *

**Phone conversation over**

"Hey, what's going on?" asks Zetzu as he walks in. Kakuzu smiles evily. "Kakuzu? Are you ok?"

"Zetzu, come here." says Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu is scaring Tobi..." says Tobi. Zetzu inches closer.

"Can you be in a commercail?" asks Kakuzu.

"Sure... if you stop creeping me out." says Zetzu.

"Ok." says Kakuzu.

"Let Tobi be in the commercial!" says Tobi.

"No." says kakuzu.

"COME ON!" says Tobi.

"Only if you can get Deidara to." says Kakuzu.

"Ok!" says Tobi as he runs off.

Author's note- It's fun to try and figure out the background of the phone conversation. Read and Review.


End file.
